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Sadly, this is not the side of a person that is always presented at first sight.You meet the charming person who listens to you and makes you laugh; you exist in a sort of bubble where you don’t see the small signs that your partner is not, at their core, a good person.One compromise leads to another and another and another, ad infinitum.Conscious and Unconscious Compromising It’s as simple as always having had a declared resolution to never date a person that drinks.As with all ideals, there often comes a time when they must be compromised as, in this case, you end up settling for Mr. Say you meet a person who is obviously not a prospect in a permanent way, but you date them anyway.

This is the horrid part of too much compromise – you lose parts of who you are in a bid to be found worthy in the other person’s eyes.One is not a declaration of an intention to remain in mourning forever and the other should not be used to excuse bad behaviour in individuals that you are linked with romantically in an effort to appear more agreeable. Fundamental belief systems are by their very nature, unchangeable.Your belief system is what keeps you focused on your life goals.Your standards have been successfully lowered, consciously or not.You can believe, all your life that all relationships lead to marriage.A person can live a whole life building up an idea of what their perfect mate will be like.Dating with a view to marriage in the hookup culture requires an ability to let go of the idea of ‘Mr.Central to being a part of the hook-up culture, is a much-evolved ability to adapt to new and strange situations.What is required is a mind that is open to the idea that progress is necessitated by drastic change in mindset.The only way to reconcile who you are with who you need to be with is through a clear and internalised process of soul-searching.Your list is not an impossible one,that only a fictional Prince Charming can fulfil- you are entitled to want the things you want without having to justify them to anyone who is not a value adding contributor to your life.


  1. Zimbabwe / z ɪ m ˈ b ɑː b w eɪ /, officially the Republic of Zimbabwe, is a landlocked country located in southern Africa, between the Zambezi and Limpopo.

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