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Sexual assualt while dating

There have been a lot of complications with this, such as developing PTSD and having panic attacks and avoiding any public space where he might be, to having to convince my friends to believe me when they were very biased in his favor and confused because we had liked each other before (and consequently feeling very unsafe in friendships where I wasn’t believed, validated, or they continued to hang out with him), to not remembering anything until I started having flashbacks and panic attacks.

I’ve been to therapy since then, made my friends understand me through a lot of really painful conversations, and made them cut off contact with him and his friends, which they were happy to do once they understood, as well as telling him that he traumatized me and to stay away from me and blocking him when he’s tried to talk again.

It can take people a very long time to get to that point, which is fine, but having friends who know what happened can also be very helpful.

I can’t put into words how sorry I am that you had to go through this. Every victim of sexual abuse is different, and there is no set of rules or guidelines to follow here.The two of them never slept in the same bed, and she thought it was clear the friendship was platonic.She fell asleep that night feeling safe, alone in her room."I woke up to him touching me," Lucy told . It took me a while to process what was going on, and I tried to move a little so it would stop.She grabbed a curling iron off her dresser — the nearest blunt object she could find — and prepared to defend herself, when she had a sudden realization: She had vague recollections of this happening before.It was just the first time she'd been conscious enough to make it stop.How do I tell a sexual partner what happened – or is there a way to tell them about trauma somewhat casually or vaguely and have it be taken seriously without having to use labels or tell the whole story?Or does still having panic attacks mean that I am not ready to be with anyone again or never will be?I don’t know how else to express that without rambling, so let me try to give you some advice! It sounds like therapy has been helpful to you so far, which is great. It’s so, so important to have a support system like the one you’ve described.It’s great that you wanted to be honest with them about how you felt.In the fall of 2009, Lucy* awoke to find her best friend working his hand down her pants while she slept.She was 19 years old and in her sophomore year of college, and she'd invited her (now former) best friend Robbie* to come over and drink cheap beer.


  1. Feb 24, 2016. When I started dating men, I was so used to the feelings associated with harassment that I would no longer object to them. I just maintained a level of protective numbness.

  2. Dec 14, 2015. Yet the part that has caused the most lasting pain wasn't the sexual assault itself but rather the reactions of people around me to it. In those early days as a survivor, when everything was so raw, I filtered my own feelings through those of my loved ones, magnifying their confusion and horror and adopting.

  3. Oct 19, 2015. "Chances are very good that they will date a sexual assault survivor because the rates are so high," says psychologist Dr. Barbara Greenberg. "When you are dating or having sex with somebody, you're interacting with them on the same level which they were violated. So that makes it so tricky." While all.

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