Should I say, “Well, I don’t hook up right away, so most guys get bored with me, and that’s why I’m single!” Or should I say, “I get really clingy around month three and it scares guys off, so here I am, solo!Just today, I was on the phone with a client who was sharing the same experience with me: “ It wasn’t until she showed me one really GOOD email from a guy that she started to get it. But look at the emails you write back to the boring men.He asked her a silly question and started grilling her with more and more trivia questions, teasing her about what she might win if she got all the questions right. “It made me funny in response to him,” she replied. They’re just as boring as the ones that you received.I also thought you were cute (4) and loved the fact that you go hiking with your brothers every summer. If you want to know anything more about me, just ask. 6) You sound creepy if you don’t warm it up with a signature. You may be shocked how those same people become a lot more interested and interesting when you give them more to work with.This probably sounds incredibly nitpicky, but it’s not. I’ve got two techniques for writing first emails that I describe in Finding the One Online.
Don’t be surprised when a chick whose entire profile consists solely of the phrase, “I love shopping, traveling and my dog,” doesn’t have a clever retort to your email.Be more interesting, and you’ll never have to wonder if there was anything else that you could do on your own behalf.Seriously, my friend, this is a very do-able technique and I’ve helped hundreds of guys (and thousands of women) master online communication. I seem to run into this a lot and haven’t seen this addressed.In my first email, I usually ask a few questions and figure the female will answer them, which they usually do, but then they don’t ask anything of me but still seem interested.And yet most of us get online and wonder why it always feels so stale.It’s because YOU’RE making it stale, and you’re accepting stale conversation from others.(aka, “Why are you single: The Remix)This is one of those backhanded compliments that really has no response. As a Plus-Size Princess, I often wonder if the guys asking me out have dated big girls before (not that it matters, but I do wonder), and I’ve learned that the answer is rarely helpful.When men say this to me, it makes me feel like something is wrong with me — especially because 99% of the men who use corny lines like this will not make any moves to take me off the market. If his last three girlfriends looked like Jennifer Lopez, I may feel insecure, but if his last three girlfriends looked like Rebel Wilson, I might wonder if he’s a chubby chaser.If your email dialogue is flagging, it’s not simply because she’s not interested in you – it’s because you haven’t captured her imagination.You haven’t created a compelling reason why she should write back to you over all others.