Towards the end of last year I noticed that every time we had sex he wouldn't finish.I started to worry thinking was it because he didn't find me attractive anymore. I tried pushing all of that out of mind and told myself it was that he felt pressure to perform and that perhaps just as I was feeling like a failure, he perhaps was too.Fast forward to around 4/5 weeks ago towards mid Jan, I had this feeling deep down that something wasn't right. Just to say that I had a lovely Christmas and new year and that I appreciate all he does and that I hope "2017" would be our year.Although I didn't really want to know the truth regarding what he was thinking/feeling (through fear it would be something bad) I asked him to be honest with me and tell me if there was something he wasn't happy about.He was always there for me, supporting me, telling me not to worry, however I'm sure he felt a lot of pressure and had concerns over money that he likely dealt with on his own.For the last 2 years we've been trying to have a baby - having a family was something he has always been really keen on. I've been very emotional as I felt like failure each month and as though I was letting him down.(ie, photos, memory's, you, etc.) although this is the last thing I want to do, I don't know what else I can do. I do love you, but I need some time to sort my head out because I can't go on feeling like this, its not fair on either of us. His reply was; I do love you and care for you more than you will ever know. And a few days apart may show me that I am or I'm not.I hope you understand and will support my decision. I know this maybe hard/upsetting to read, but trust me its alot harder to say it.
Him: dont be sorry, i cant imagine how hard this must be for you, im sorry that i am causing you to be in this much pain.As I said last night, Im also scared, scared to let my guard down and be hurt if we was to argue, and you are right that I shouldnt think that way.I have been thinking about things all morning, and writing things down, and will continue to think about this all this afternoon, as I hope to have a clear view and say 100% what I want.He was clearly struggling and rather than support him I likely made things worse). What do you mean that it'd mean you were away from distractions/memories? but this is just how I am feeling right now, sad and unhappy. I then asked "would you rather lose me than feel this way" and is response was "I would choose being with you over anything".I'd hoped that you would want to stay with me and if you feel you/we need to think/talk about things then surely it's best that we do that together? You say that going to your dads is the last thing you want and you don't know what else to do? This claimed me down a little and I asked that we have a serious talk that night when we got home. To be told face to face that my husband doesn't know if he loves me anymore - I've never been so upset.We still had a goodbye kiss in the morning before going to work, still said I love you (me more than him) and just over a week later it was his birthday.We'd arranged to go out of town for the day on the train and I felt like we had a lovely time.We got a lot off our chest and I told him that if he felt having some time away from me would help then to go stay at him dads.He said he didn't want to leave me in the state I was in (I was very upset and had been crying for hours) and even if he did make it out the door, he knows he would just come straight back again.Sure, you could be ready to have fun, have sex, and casually date, but you are no one's Mrs.Right until you have taken time to assess yourself, your failed marriage, and where you are going in life. You may feel completely over someone, but the fact is it takes time to unravel yourself from a marriage.