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Funny definitions of dating

it’s easy to forget the importance of taking some time out to enjoy a few chuckles with your special someone every now and then. So grab your mate (well, not literally) and take a few minutes to sit back and enjoy our Funny Marriage Quotes.

“Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts” -Jeff Foxworthy"I was married by a judge. Johnson"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has." -Ralph Waldo Emerson“My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. Finally you will come to know what it means to experience deep and lasting Abundance and Happiness.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." -Henry Youngman We hope you've enjoyed our Funny Marriage Quotes. I'm Finished With Funny Marriage Quotes Take Me To The Home Page Quotes Main Page Quotes By Category Site Map We will be adding more Funny Marriage Quotes regularly, so be sure to check back often.

It's called marriage." -James Holt Mc Gavran“Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.” -Evelyn Hendrickson“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” -Judith Viorst"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together." -Hemant Joshi"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.

The older she gets, the more interested he is in her." -Agatha Christie“My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.

You want to learn English that you can different aspects of your life.

It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” -Raymond Hull“The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.” -Bertrand Russell"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted" -Helen Rowland"Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give." -Cass Daley“Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.” -Elbert Hubbard"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open." -Groucho Marx*“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness?Every now and then she stops to breathe." -Jimmy Durante“I love being married.It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” -Rita Rudner"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.Funny situations occur when you have complicated relationships.Look around you, and you'll see that chaotic relationship sometimes lead to amusing situations.” -Barbra Streisand “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.” - Rita Rudner “Car Manufacturer's formula for a successful marriage : Stick to one model! You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." -Joey Adams"What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer.” -Mignon Mc Laughlin“Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.” -Unknown“Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't; men hope women won't change but they do.” -Bettina Arndt“Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” -Helen Rowland“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” -Henny Youngman“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.” -Katharine Hepburn“It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.” -Robert Frost"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." -Oscar Wilde"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. It's purpose is to empower, inspire, coach, and guide you.It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.” -Henny Youngman“When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.” -Prince Philip"I require only three things of a man.He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid." -Dorothy Parker“When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.” -Helen Rowland"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war." -G. Chesterton“Alimony - The ransom that the happy pay to the devil.” -H. Mencken"A husband's last words should always be, OK buy it." -Unknown"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." -Erma Bombeck“I came from a big family.As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.” -Lewis Grizzard"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.

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