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It was half creepy and half thrilling; I'm attractive enough, but I've never been the girl at the bar that everyone's looking at.Of course the people I was being watched by were desperate, hungry-looking middle-aged men and a handful of sad-eyed, hair-dyed ladies with too much metallic eyeliner, but hey: I'll take it.Instead I said, “Let me sleep on it.” When I woke up the next morning, I told him I was in: I was curious, I wanted to hang out with James, and I thought it would make for a good story.To gain admission to a secret sex club (at least the one we went to) you need to be invited by people who are already “in the scene.” Our guides for the evening were James' strange but sweet fifty-something friends, Mike and Sheila (James and I are 31).

I appreciated how seriously the men seemed to take the “No means no” policy.He's a nice man, but neurotic and a little insecure.At some point, he sidled up to me and confided in a low voice, “That woman Sheila's been talking to, she's all right, she's a cute girl.He is a sensational talent and his fame is enormous.According to an insider, recently he is not interested in being in a relationship as he wants to focus his attention towards his career.In fact, the only person who touched me without asking was, later in the night, a somewhat pathetic Mike, whose half-hearted, unsolicited back rub while seated next to me on a couch was so transparently designed to wrest Sheila's gaze from the guy she was pursuing that I couldn't hold it against him.Before James and I met up with Mike and Sheila again, we sat and chatted by ourselves just outside of a curtained-off area on the top floor beyond which various couples were, in theory, getting to know each other physically.Sheila's been swinging for a while, and she's since brought Mike, her widowed fiancé, into “the lifestyle” as well.The club operates in the manner of a speakeasy—it's tucked away on the second floor of what appears from the outside to be a lighting store, and there are four levels: a coat-check and registration area, where James forked over for the two of us (it would have been 0 had he shown up alone; he got a discount for bringing me and there's no charge for single ladies); a bar/lounge area, where “bartenders” pour mixers and open people's wine bottles (the club doesn't have a liquor license); an area with couches and chairs for getting to know other club-goers, and, on the top level, an area with beds and curtains, for really getting to know them.In fact, when James asked me to join him at an underground sex club, my first question, posed via text message, was, “What are you going to tell your wife?” “Did I not mention Emily's in France this week? Here's the part of the story where I could—and, according to several of my friends, should—have told James he was on his own. I'm a feminist who cares about other women, and I happen to like James' wife.


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