It wasn’t a question of whether he and his wife were going to divorce – the relationship was toxic, the lawyers were in place, it was definitely over. They were well-matched and perfectly adorable together. You can listen to all these stories, but they won’t inform YOUR situation.The real concern was whether this guy needed time and space after the demise of his marriage. Here are the three points I’d like you to take away from this blog post: A person who hides his separation online isn’t necessarily a bad person.All you can do is trust your gut and don’t second guess yourself every step of the way. Now I’m from the generation that most of you think destroyed America.So, America had a fairly long period of responsible adulthood from Reagan through Bush I.It had a fling on the side with that dashing and charming Slick Willie; you could just hear all of them saying, “I can change him; he wouldn’t cheat on me.” But then they came back to dull, responsible life with GWB for awhile.He’s doing what’s practical not to scare people off.
Therefore, you seem to think all men should feel the same way. But you are correct in proceeding with a sense of caution. Not because he listed himself as divorced but is really separated. He gave a lot to her during their time together, but, when it got right down to it, he really needed to sow his oats for awhile.That isn’t as sexist as it sounds; women need a reason, men usually just need a place.And, I entered the world of separated and divorced women.For a while if they weren’t under 25 and didn’t have a belly I could bounce a quarter on, I wasn’t interested, but then I figured out that I did kinda miss talking to them, and I started dating “older” women.That means, you’re dating her past; boyfriends and husbands, kids usually, and a whole lot of attitude, but they do know what goes where and why. Women often run from marriages or relationships and seek “comfort” where they can find it.” In it, I concluded that it’s up to the individual. And just cause you WANT to move on from your previous relationships does not mean you’re really READY to. Generally, if you’re dating immediately after divorce, you’re hurt, reeling and looking for a safe harbor in the storm that is singledom. He thought he was ready for another committed relationship but needed a break before moving ahead. He told her he’d come back after he had time to sort things out. Very reasonable men want to love again, and are shocked to find out that it’s not possible.The exact quote was “if you’ve mourned, if you’ve healed, if you’ve made peace – then you’re ready whenever you say you’re ready.” Allow me to correct myself. I have a client who went out with a man who was separated. On the other hand, you’ve heard tales of men who went seamlessly from one relationship to another without a break.Also, it seems that about 40% of the men who state they are divorced are actually still going through the process. That stated, I have come up to some heavy objection from both family and friends – hence I’m here.They have given many examples of relationships that began quickly after a separation/break-up, so I am beginning to wonder if I am selling myself short – being too rigid.She’s either looking to make up for everything she thinks she was missing or she’s trying to rub her ex-to-be’s nose in what she’s doing.Either way it’s fun so long as you don’t think about it too much.