Hell, once they can eat and get dressed on their own, they can practically babysit themselves, right?
In the four years since the birth of my daughter and the end of my relationship with her mother, I have done some dating.
When we as dads take our children out in public, it is not uncommon to be asked where their mom is, or hear comments about us pulling “mommy duty” for the day.
It’s almost as if people assume that if we have a penis, we are incapable of caring for a child for more than a couple hours without some kind of assistance or intervention from their mother.
The littlest thing that was said in passing, months before, is suddenly brought up again as a supposed glaring infraction on our part.
It pisses us off, and sometimes on the rough days, it makes us question whether we really are good at this whole “daddy thing”.Now I find myself re-entering the dating world as a 31-year old single dad.Watching the successes and failures of my married friends’ relationships got me thinking; what exactly am I and other single dads looking for in our potential mates?We don’t want to be suspicious and un-trusting, but it comes with the territory when you’ve been through what we’ve been through.So it might seem stupid, and it might at times frustrate you, but we need you to show us that you aren’t going anywhere, and that we don’t have anything to worry about when you decide to have a night out with the girls.◊♦◊It seems that in almost any previous failed relationship, our trustworthiness has been brought into question by our partner.Having recently read an article describing What A Single Mom Wants In A Boyfriend I began asking myself exactly what I was looking for in a woman with whom I choose to have a relationship. Recently, after a brutal 14-month custody battle, I was finally granted 50/50 custody of her and no longer limited to being an every-other-weekend dad.You might think that change shouldn’t have a significant effect on the qualities I look for in a woman, but it absolutely does.At that point, after more than our share of failed relationships, we both genuinely thought we had found “the one.”◊♦◊The day I was granted equal custody of my daughter fell smack-dab right in the middle of our relationship, and looking back, it was a defining moment for us—the day I can pinpoint as the beginning of the end.When I only had my daughter four days out of the month, it was easy to just plan our dates and adventures around those days.But once I suddenly had her half the time, it became almost impossible for us to make plans together.She had children too, so trying to balance both of our schedules and find evenings that we were both kid-free just put more and more stress on our relationship.