So what on earth were they doing that worked so well?
Over dinner, my grandmother shared her story about what dating was like back in the 30s and 40s.
This meant that by the time she was 17 years old she knew which Bob she wanted to marry.
They got married and stayed married till my grandfather passed away half a century later.
Dating was evil and Courtship, whatever it was, was godly, good and Biblical.
My grandparents would often ask why I wasn’t dating in high school.
But here are the elements most conservative communities have in common: My grandmother grew up in a marginally Christian community.
It is not that her parents were uninvolved; it is that they played an advisory role, particularly as she entered high school and they relaxed the rules about not going steady.Marriage will always be a bit like jumping into a pool of cold water.A humble realization that you are not ready and in need of God’s help may be the more healthy way to start a marriage.I am not convinced that anyone is ever truly ready to get married.Readiness can become a carrot on a stick, an ideal that can never be achieved.This is different from my generation, which is encouraged to “wait until you are ready to get married” before pursuing a romantic relationship.This advice, when combined with the fact that “the purpose of courtship is marriage”, makes asking a girl out for dinner the emotional equivalent of asking for her hand in marriage.I explained what courtship was and quoted Joshua Harris, chapter and verse. “I don’t think courtship is a smart idea,” my grandfather said.“How can you tell who you want to marry if you aren’t going out on dates? I ignored their advice on relationships, preferring to listen to the young people around me who were passionate advocates of courtship.It often had symbols like the girl wearing the guy’s letter jacket.This telegraphed to everyone at school that she was “off the market” and that she had a “steady beau”.