Our chemistry was immediate (physical, intellectual, and emotional) and things have been very easy so far. I am totally comfortable with the speed (how often we are communicating, seeing each other, and sharing information about ourselves).
But, we recently slept together (it felt right and was great).
This was specifically created to protect the hearts of women who have sex with guys they’ve been seeing for a few weeks, and proceed to get upset when they see him online, when he doesn’t text frequently enough, and when it’s become increasingly clear that he just wanted sex, not a relationship. If he does – if he thinks he deserves to get laid when he hasn’t committed to you – well, I guess he’s not going to get laid. A man isn’t boyfriend-worthy because you feel a real connection with him.
If that describes you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with four weeks of foreplay without intercourse, and if the guy bails, it’s because he really didn’t want a relationship with you to begin with. Any questions about sexclusivity can be addressed here. Don’t leave any daylight between exclusive and boyfriend. Sometimes, when women who are new at “sexclusivity” bring it up to their men, they say something like, “So I just want to make sure you’re not sleeping with anybody else right now.” The guy says, “Nope. A man is boyfriend-worthy if he’s demonstrating that he’s serious about being in a relationship with you.
Now, this guy is such a front-runner that she drops every other prospect like a hot potato.
What’s the point of talking to other guys when I like this one guy so much? the other guy isn’t necessarily as smitten with you. That’s a guy who is seeing you, seeing others, and keeping his options open.
This is not to say that it’s “wrong” to commit to someone before 4 weeks; merely that you’ll have a better sense of who you’re committing if you vet him first, instead of giving him a free pass to boyfriend-hood because you like him and want to sleep with him.
To the original poster’s point, you really shouldn’t have to “bring up” whether he’s your boyfriend.
When two people are casually dating, they are usually spending time together without an exclusive relationship or any agreement to date in the future.
Just because you had a great date, just because you had electric chemistry, just because you were at his place until 3am does NOT mean he wants you as his girlfriend and does NOT mean you are long-term compatible. You do not commit to someone who has given no indication he’s committing to you.
It just means you have a serious crush with potential. That guy still needs to follow up regularly in order to prove himself worthy. Now if he’s been calling you every night, and seeing you 3 times a week for the past few weeks, then yes, you can take down your profile and focus your energies on exploring this burgeoning relationship.
Finally, if you DID bring it up, he would probably laugh because he already thought of you as his girlfriend already.
Share this with your friends who want to know a healthy relationship timeline.