Alan has to mediate when Herb becomes more interested in Kandi and her breasts, making Judith angry.Rose and Berta discover Charlie’s boundery after following the couple around the house and stopping at his bedroom door to eavesdrop.I think the best part of the scene, besides the poem of course, was Alan’s responses, in his best Oliver Twist accent, to Charlie’s bah-humbug attitude.I’m not sure if Alan was hitting the sauce or if the holidays just puts him in a jolly mood, but he was downright witty!Jake reminds Charlie that he’s in a committed relationship and, in turn, Charlie reminds Jake that he’s only 13 (though he’s actually 15) and shouldn’t be tied down so young.Maybe Charlie is feeling a bit too tied down himself at the young age of 40 (though he’s actually 42), because it seems that he wants to live vicariously through Jake.This year, Alan has written the Harper Christmas newsletter to send out.Now, I sometimes get newsletters in lieu of a Christmas card and for me it just seems a little too impersonal.
In it we learn that Jake passed his class by the skin of his ass, Charlie is single no more after getting engaged to a lady, not a whore, and Evelyn rejuvenated her secret garden—turns out nothing rhymes with vulva.However, she tells him Magilla does exist and he shared the first four years of his life with him, which lead to Walden learning sign language; she wanted to see if a gorilla baby could learn as fast as a human baby.She sent him back to the jungle after he tried to kill a Jehovah’s Witness.Unfortunately, Charlie has no rules to help prepare Jake for when Celeste shows up unexpectedly with his Christmas present, and finds Jake with the other girl.As soon as the new girl learns of Jake’s girlfriend she storms off, the now ex-girlfriend leaves in a huff, and Chelsea gives Charlie a look that would castrate a lesser man! Pepper awakens to say “She thinks she’s going to sell my house when I’m gone. ” Then he looks down at his lap and realizes “Oops.In other Harper family news, Evelyn brings a Hollywood producer to the Christmas Eve dinner. Pepper, played by the ridiculously funny Carl Reiner, is a wheelchair-bound spitfire whom Evelyn just couldn’t bear to see spending the evening alone in his million estate—and with the million she could make off of selling his house when he buys the farm, who could blame her? I am going.”Walden wakes up on Christmas and gives Zoey a key to his house.It turns out that he knows Lucille Ball wasn’t a true redhead. Zoey says that giving her a key to his house is premature.Walden then wonders where Lyndsey is, but Alan tells him that she has a new boyfriend now, leaving him single and lonely again.Jake calls and tells Alan that he is with Judith, Herb and his sister, actually not being there and is instead smoking pot with Eldridge somewhere else.After much prodding, Jake finally agrees to go talk to the girl.Throughout the evening, and despite Alan’s repeated objections, Charlie helps Jake with the rules.